The week after the beach house, I texted Matt to see how his first day went (Tuesday), then on Thursday (his birthday). It was KILLING ME not talking to him. I couldn't believe how much I wanted to be with him and not in my own apartment with Ed. On his birthday, he put on his facebook that he would be at a certain bar on Friday to celebrate. All I wanted to do was go and surprise him even though I was supposed to have cut him off.
So I did. I went to the bar and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around, and his reaction was priceless when he saw me. He gave me the biggest hug and couldn't stop saying, "OMG! I can't believe you're here." For the rest of the night, we walked around, hand in hand, and he introduced me to his friends and a few cousins who were there. People were buying him shots like crazy, but he was trying to act sober for me, which cracked me up. It felt so right being with him, and I knew the scales were tipping in his direction. I slept at my cousin's that night, then went to my friends' apartment the next day. I talked to them about Matt, and they were like, "Invite him over, we want to meet him!" Matt came over and met my friends Jenn and Megan, and spending even more time with him made me make my decision - I wanted to break up with Ed and be with Matt. We both slept on their pull-out couch that night, and I told him my decision. He couldn't have been happier. :) He left the next day, and I spent the day with Jenn and Megan since I didn't want to go home. I knew I had to break up with Ed over the next couple of days, and I was in full panic mode. He got home late Sunday night though, so I had to wait until Monday.
Monday night, Ed came home, and I knew what I had to do. I had him sit down, and he pretty much knew what was coming. I told him that he never wanted to get married, and I just haven't been happy anymore. We both cried, and he apologized for stringing me along. We both felt it was for the best, and we would figure out the living situation another time. One thing he said that surprised me though - that yes, he didn't want to get married because of his view of marriage from his parents...but another reason that he never told me was that he thought that if we did get married, our differences would get in the way. Wow. Thanks for telling me NOW. But other than that, the breakup was calm. Funny thing was that when we were finishing up our discussion, all I wanted to do was leave and call Matt (which was the plan - he knew I would be calling afterwards). I told Ed that I would stay at Jenn and Megan's that night to give us some space. I called Matt on the way over, and I told him that I was okay. I was actually okay! I wasn't devastated, and I knew I had done the right thing. He was the happiest guy in the world that night. Jenn and Megan were shocked that I was so fine with things. I changed my status on facebook to single (tons of messages followed), and Matt changed his to "in a relationship."
I know, I know, it seems so rushed. Why not take time between relationships? But I was already in too deep with Matt. I was feeling things for him that I haven't felt in a long time. I knew I was falling for him, and there was no going back.
I saw him the next weekend on Saturday, and I was able to kiss him and...do other things...without the feeling of guilt. It was AMAZING. We just hung out, then went for some food. We knew his parents were returning from wherever they were, so when we got back from dinner, I had to meet the parents. EEK! They were adorable though, but I was nervous since they know the whole story (thanks to Matt's friend Justin). I went to a party that night, then went back to Matt's the next day. It was so great just hanging out and cuddling (he's such a cuddler) and all that coupley stuff with him. And the things he says to me...wow. I didn't want to leave at all. I had fallen for him.
This weekend was a nice 3-day weekend for everyone, so I went to Matt's Friday night and came home today. Friday night, we weren't planning on going anywhere, but his friend called and another friend of his just returned from Iraq, so we ended up at a bar at around midnight. He did more introducing, but this time, it was, "This is my girlfriend Michelle." :) We got back to his house, and we were cuddling on the couch (parents were away for the weekend). He suddenly seemed so nervous about something and kept doing this smiling, trying to speak but nothing was coming out kinda thing. He kept pulling his face back to focus on me. I knew what was going on, but I let him get it out in his own time. He then told me, "I think I love you." I had to give him a few moments to recover, lol. It was so cute, he was completely panicking. I told him that I love him too...and it's the truth. I had realized it the weekend before, but obviously wasn't going to say anything. He told me that at the bar that night, his friend asked him how things were going with us (I was talking with the guy's girlfriend), and Matt blurted out, "Great, I love her..." And they apparently both sat there going, "Uhhhh..." I wish I had seen that. But once we said our ILYs, it felt wonderful. I know, our relationship is going at warp speed, but it feels right (it's practically our motto). The rest of the weekend was amazing, and I had to drag myself away from him today.
As for Ed, we're sorta stuck in our lease right now, so we're still living together. He's sleeping on the couch. It's kinda like two friends living together at this point. I'm trying to find a way out of this, but it may take some time.
PHEW! That is the drama of my life over the last month and a half, but it was worth it. I'm deliriously happy with Matt even though I had to go through a lot to be with him. :)